Today’s guest blog is from author Amy Ransom, whose first novel ‘Up the duff without a paddle’ has just been released and is a humorous and touching portrayal of the challenges of pregnancy and the transition from woman to mother. To celebrate the launch of her new novel we have ten copies to give away. To enter the giveaway, simply leave a comment below.
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Pregnancy – it’s the most magical time of your life, isn’t it?
It is fair to say that I am a planner. I’ve been a PA for the past ten years; I’d be pretty
Amy Ransom
useless at my job if I wasn’t.
So the conception of our first daughter was well orchestrated, down to the month in which I thought it would be nice to have her (summer, naturally).
I remember telling my sister we were thinking about having a baby. ‘We’ll announce it on Dad’s birthday,’ I told her. I wasn’t even pregnant yet. ‘How are you going to make that happen?’ she asked, clearly wondering what sort of deal I’d made with Mother Nature.
But we were lucky, I fell pregnant quickly and we did tell my parents and sister on my Dad’s birthday, in November. If you’re thinking I’m one of those smug, ‘life’s so perfect’ people, read on, you’ll see I’m really not.
I actually didn’t mind being pregnant but from the outset I found myself resisting the idea of motherhood. It was an odd reaction for someone who’d planned it so vigorously. I couldn’t comprehend what it meant for me as an individual and I desperately worried I’d lose my identity. I’d seen women transform overnight from cool, girls about town to a completely different species. It frightened me.
It didn’t help that all everyone wanted to talk about was pregnancy. ‘I’m still capable of talking about other things,’ I wanted to shout. I also met my fair share of mums-to-be who seemed to be lapping up impending motherhood. They made me feel even more abnormal.
So a few months into my pregnancy, I started writing what has eventually become UP THE DUFF WITHOUT A PADDLE. I’ve always written for pleasure and wanted to write a book but instead of writing an autobiographical journal about pregnancy, I found myself creating the heroine, Kate and other characters and sub-plots. Looking back it was probably a form of escapism.
I finished the first half before giving birth and then I had nappies to figure out so I didn’t return to writing the book until 18 months later, when I fell pregnant again.
I needed the escapism more than ever this time. Our second daughter was an accident, you see, payback for controlling every detail the first time around. She was born in early January. I think Mother Nature was trying to make a point.
This time I finished the book and having been through motherhood twice, I finally felt like I could answer Kate’s question at the beginning of the book about why people have kids and what it feels like to be a mother. Don’t worry, no spoilers here.
Mustering up the courage to put myself and the book out there was the hardest part. But then something happened, which threatened my sense of identity more than pregnancy or motherhood ever has. I miscarried our unplanned, third child whilst at work. In my darkest moments, I didn’t recognise myself and I thought I might never recover.
It was on the back of this that the book was published. They say that everything happens for a reason. I’ve always believed it does. There has certainly been a lot of healing power in thinking that my miscarriage might not have been for nothing.
The reaction to the book has been incredible; so many women have told me how much they relate to Kate and how she made them laugh. It’s reassuring to learn there’s a lot of us out there who don’t find pregnancy to be the most magical time of our lives.
Read more about Amy and her first novel on her Facebook page.
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Win…win…win
We have ten copies of ‘Up the duff without a paddle to giveaway.
To enter simply leave a comment on this blog post and from all comments received by midnight on 30th April, we will pick out ten lucky winners. Usual Netmums terms and conditions apply.
